(from the Second Edition of Peace: The Other Side of Anger)
Before an adult can address the needs of an angry adolescent he/she must be able to provide themselves with something I refer to as an “attitudinal check-up”. Simply put, you must put your judgments on hold, that is, provide yourself with a self-restraining order. This is something difficult to do. Needless to say, a teen’s actions and reactions may seem outright dumb or unfathomable, absolutely making no sense. However, judgment withdrawal can reap benefits to your relationship with an adolescent, as well providing them with an alternate, less harmful path to travel when difficult situations arise.
To help illustrate this point, consider the following method which many youngsters felt had great value. It is labeled the “Just Listen” technique. By following this path, without making judgments or voicing your opinion you are allowing adolescents to express themselves freely. Using this approach youngsters’ thoughts are valued and the door to a two-way conversation may be opened.
This is only one way of avoiding a roadblock in your efforts with adolescents. There are other means to accomplishing this goal also suggested in this chapter.