(Two simple words, often difficult behavior to achieve)
The uses and benefits of just listening are important to understand. It is a vehicle for accepting and acknowledging the thoughts and beliefs of others, a way to vent feelings, and provides a path to peaceful solutions of difficult situations.
Many of the teenagers with whom I spoke as a high school guidance counselor, expressed the idea of being heard as something they wanted and needed from adults in their lives. They didn’t want to be judged, or listen to opinions on how to resolve difficulties they were experiencing. If they wanted this input they could be asked or would request it. It was a means of diminishing the intensity of anger they were feeling and a way to have their thoughts and ideas acknowledged and accepted.
The differences in beliefs, particularly those surrounding political ideas are ever present in our society. The vitriol toward others for having alternate ideas is palatable. Political violence has erupted. Just Listening may provide a way to stem the tide of these negative reactions. Here’s an example.
I recently had a conversation with a friend who greatly disagrees with my view of our political atmosphere. I asked him to describe why he felt the way he did. I listened and didn’t react to his thoughts. Did I agree? No. Did I try to convince him there were additional ideas to consider? No. (Unfortunately, I didn’t have the opportunity to provide my viewpoint.) Often, we try to convince others their belief is wrong – a complete exercise in futility. A huge anger activator
There is great value in Just Listening. Whether any of these ideas work, even some of the time, is up to each individual. Isn’t it worth trying if using this idea can mean more peace in your life?