For me forgiveness provides a route to emotional and relational freedom. Many people have unpleasant things happen to them, or are responsible for creating such situations. Intensely disturbing reactions occur, often resulting in intense anger or hurt. The effects of such events are most often long lasting and destructive to relationships.
If these situations are discussed sooner rather than longer after they occur, the willingness to forgive the offender may be stronger. Forgiveness involves a willingness by those harmed by the incident to let go, or move on from the situation. By doing so, they often will not take the time and energy needed to dwell on such an occurrence. However, in the case of an incident being ignored, or not addressed in a more expedient manner, the affected individuals run the risk of becoming more greatly influenced emotionally, and often find these effects becoming more intense and entrenched in their minds and hearts. Harboring such feelings, without expressing them, may often create harmful physical effects as well.
No matter the length of time between the time a situation occurs, and when it is addressed, forgiveness has great value. Once the source of emotional effects is expressed to the offending individual, when and if this is possible, the energy it took to withhold a person’s reactions, and the amount of attention spent on thinking about the situation, is no longer necessary.
Forgiveness and Relationships: Once an incident has occurred and the offended individual has been able to forgive the other person, most often, the relationship may not be repaired or will take much effort to do so. Forgiving, is as was written above, creates a sense of freedom. It allows those hurt by others to release the source of pain in order to experience the freedom to enjoy their lives and build other relationships.
Forgiveness and Forgetting: Once a person has forgiven another, Does not mean forgetting about what happened. It means Remembering the reasons, the circumstances so not as to repeat them with this individual or any other person. It is a reminder of what can happen. It also Does not mean, holding onto it and constantly keeping it in mind. To do so, is a waste of energy and time away from others and the life you want to enjoy.